So You Think You Can Gobble: 8.15, “Week Five: Results”


I will not sing “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead!” I will not sing “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead!” I will not sing “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead!”


The opening group number this week is a fiery little Latin number, featuring Jordan in a giant flowing red dress. Choreographed by Kelley Abbey and using the song “El Fuego” by Sean Peter feat. Oscar Jimenez, it was a spicy, tangy, and all kinds of other saucy cliches number. And though Jordan was definitely center stage, all 12 dancers felt like they were given proper attention during the number. Good stuff.

Now before we get to the meat of the matter tonight and start culling the wheat from the chaff as it were, there are two important pieces of business to attend to. First, everyone in the audience and on the judges panel give Cat Deeley a well-deserved standing ovation for her Emmy nomination as Outstanding Host. She (and I) get a little weepy.  :*)

Second, we get a quick little video package showing the Emmy nominated routines from five SYTYCD choreographers…

Outstanding Choreography: Mandy Moore for “Boogie Shoes” performed by Billy Bell and Lauren Froderman. (Also “Oh Yeah” by Lauren Froderman and Ade Obayomi, and “I Surrender” by Neil Haskell and Charlie Bruce.)


Outstanding Choreography: Mia Michaels for Alice in Mia-Land “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” (group dance). (Also “When We Dance” (group dance) and “This Bitter Earth – On the Nature of Daylight” by Billy Bell, Ade Obayomi and Alex Wong.)


Outstanding Choreography: Stacey Tookey for “Mad World” by Billy Bell and Ade Obayomi. (Also  “Sundrenched World” by Kent Boyd and Allison Holker, and “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” by Kathryn McCormick and Robert Roldan.)


Outstanding Choreography: Travis Wall for “How It Ends” by Kent Boyd and Neil Haskell. (Also “Fix You” by Allison Holker and Robert Roldan, and “Collide” by Lauren Froderman and Kent Boyd.)


Outstanding Choreography: Napoleon and Tabitha D’omo for “Outta Your Mind” by Alex Wong and Twitch Boss. (Also “Scars” by Robert Roldan and Dominic Sandoval, and “Fallin” by Comfort Fedoke and AdeChike Torbert.)



Now, with that bit of awesomeness squared away, let’s get to it. First pair of couples called up for results are…

Clarice & Jess – Safe
Caitlynn & Mitchell – BOTTOM 3


We’re told that the format going forward for the Top 10 will have each remaining dancer drawing their partners name out of a hat for one dance, and the name of an All-Star for a second dance.

HORRIBLE news about my beloved Alex Wong, who suffered the exact same injury in an audition this week as the one he suffered one year ago that removed him from competition. Meaning (a) he will NOT be an All-Star this season (even though he was in fact intended to be one), and (b) he has yet one more year of physical therapy and recovery ahead of him.

A partial list of the upcoming All-Stars:
Melody (S1)
Allison (S2)
Pasha (S3)
Twitch (S4)
Comfort (S4)
Chelsie (S4)
Brandon (S5)
Kathryn (S6)
Robert (S7)


Melanie & Marko – Safe
Ryan & Ricky – BOTTOM 3

Jordan & Tadd – Safe
Sasha & Alexander – BOTTOM 3


First guest performance is by the Jason Samuel Smith & Anybody Can Get It tap company, featuring Season 7’s Melinda Sullivan. They perform their piece, “Move the Crowd (Sole Sessions pt. 1). It’s a nice demonstration of the kind of variety you can get out of tap. It’s nice…but really it just makes me miss this season’s Nick Frost.


Now we get to see the endangered dancers solo performances…

Caitlynn – “The Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga



Mitchell – “Ra” by Nathan Lanier



Ryan – “Not In Love” by Crystal Castles feat. Robert Smith



Ricky – “Body Language” by Queen



Sasha – “Thinkin’ About Your Body” by Bobby McFerrin
This one is among the best solos I’ve seen on this series.



Alexander – “Palladio” by Escalla
And another of the best solos ever. I mean he flipped through the air and landed ON POINT!




While the judges go off to reluctantly make their choice for who to eliminate, we the audience are left to suffer through the second guest performance, Nicole Scherzinger lipsyncing her way through “Right There.” Why, god? Why?!


Once that nightmare is over it’s time for the axe to fall. Nigel informs us that the judges are unanimous in their decision to send home Ryan (I will not sing “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead”…) Lots of people have been screaming for her (metaphorical I assume) blood for weeks now, so this will likely be a popular move on Nigel’s part.

Lastly, the judges are NOT unanimous in their pick of Alexander as the guy to go home tonight. He would not have been my pick, though I’m sure my wife would appreciate me telling y’all that she called these two as the cuts from the moment the episode began. She had some complicated logical problem solving reason for thinking that, whereas Nigel just bafflingly explains that Alexander’s solo tonight let him down spectacularly. I love you, Nigel, but FAAAAAIL! His solo was absolutely awesome! But whatever, the choice is made.

GOING HOME: Ryan & Alexander


Thoughts? Questions? Death threats? Leave ’em here in the comments, or better yet take the time to write us an e-mail. We’re lonely and crave the attention. It gets us through our days just a little bit easier to open our mailboxes to find hundreds of messages from adoring fans and faithful Gobblers. Go ahead, try it… you might like it.

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