Listen to Episode 93, “Titanic: Episode I – The Phantom Iceberg…in 3D!”

Gobbledygeek episode 93, “Titanic – Episode I: The Phantom Iceberg…in 3D!,” is available for listening or download here.

There’s been a disturbance in the Force…and that’s only the tip of the iceberg! Well, after that peach of a sentence, we’re about to be dragged offstage, so really quickly: AJ likes Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Paul likes Titanic. Paul hates Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; AJ hates Titanic. FIGHT! Well, it’s actually a lot more civil than that, but yes, arguments are had, rants are ranted, bile is spewed. Plus, they also have a fundamental disagreement over the new HBO series Girls, so, you know, more fighting and stuff.

Next: It’s that time again…the Gobbledygeek Summer Movie Preview!

(Show notes for “Titanic: Episode I – The Phantom Iceberg…in 3D!”) 

Paul & AJ’s Top 10 Films of 2011

Paul and I rambled on and on about our favorites of 2011 in our second season finale, but that isn’t gonna stop us from rambling some more. This is the first in a series of top 10s that will be spread out over the next couple weeks; the rest will concern television, albums, and comic books.

But first, a word about lists. Paul has described my obsession with list-making as a “sickness,” and that’s probably close to the truth. However, even one such as I, beholden to rating and ranking everything known to man, know that these kinds of things are imperfect, to put it lightly. For one, no matter how all-inclusive you try to be, there’s always going to be a movie (or show, or comic, etc.) that you somehow missed; for example, as of this writing, neither Paul nor I have seen The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Shame, or Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, just to name a few. And more importantly, lists are always subject to how their makers feel at the moment they’re making them. Each of our top 10s represent the movies we love right now, and with the exception of our #1 choices, their order could be fluid, changing from day to day, mood to mood.

Right now, though? These are the films we adore, and which we feel exemplify 2011.

~ AJ

PAUL: 10. RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (dir. Rupert Wyatt)

The summer blockbuster that was better than any of us had any right to expect. Not only a remarkably capable relaunch/reboot of a beloved but dated franchise, but also just a damned good popcorn flick in its own right. Andy Serkis brings heart and humanity (pun intended) to the “inhuman” protagonist. It’s Pinocchio and Moses and Che Guevara.

AJ: 10. GEORGE HARRISON: LIVING IN THE MATERIAL WORLD (dir. Martin Scorsese)

It has been lazy shorthand for decades to refer to George Harrison as the “quiet Beatle,” and though that might have a kernel of truth to it, the man himself was far more complex. Publicly, he was quiet because he desperately hated fame; professionally, he was quiet during the Beatle years because John and Paul vetoed his material, and later, because he was content with tending to his family and to his garden. Martin Scorsese’s Bob Dylan documentary No Direction Home definitively captured that 60s icon’s brilliance and enigma, and while Living in the Material World doesn’t quite do the same for this 60s icon, it comes close enough. In the first part of this two-part doc, the entire life cycle of The Beatles is rehashed yet again, though considering it’s Scorsese at the helm, it remains of interest. It’s in the second part, however, when things truly come alive. By telling of his unsung career as a film producer, enticing candid stories from a number of those closest to him, and showing private home movies, Scorsese paints a portrait of Harrison as a man perpetually struggling to reconcile his spirituality with his materialism, caught between divinity and mortality.

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Justin Bieber to Get 3D Biopic; Satan Inches Closer to Winning Bet with God (UPDATE)

Gangsta.

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of tween girls’ hormones suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly inflamed with lust. I fear something terrible has happened.
– Ancient Jedi proverb

A few minutes ago, despite contemplating Dan Aykroyd’s career trajectory, I was having a mostly peaceful evening. Then Deadline (luckily without a GOTCHA! or a TOLDJA!, because fuck Nikki Finke if she saw this coming and didn’t do anything about it) reported this delightful bit of news. My instant, unfiltered reaction via Skype:

AJ: 3D BIOPIC OF JUSTIN BIEBER. THIS IS A THING THAT IS HAPPENING.
Paul: *spit* *choke* WHAT?!? Oh my God. The decline of Western civilization.

Yes, Paramount Pictures will be making a 3D Justin Bieber biopic. Starring Justin Bieber. Featuring his music. In 3D. For what I assume will be at least 90 minutes, a tragic 90 minutes played again and again in large, overstaffed movie theaters the nation wide for several months. The very talented documentarian Davis Guggenheim, maker of good films like An Inconvenient Truth or It Might Get Loud, will direct, apparently looking to make him some o’ that Bieber bank. This enterprise assumes that Justin Bieber, at 16 years of age (though let’s be honest, he’s really only 12), has lived a life worth making into a major motion picture. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that, international fame or no, he has not. That’s right, folks. No one’s ever made a major biopic of Elvis Presley or the Beatles or Marilyn Monroe, but some kid who’s been popular for a year is getting the big screen Lifetime treatment.

Parents, clench your wallets in terror. Male tweens, put your arms around your girls and hope for at least a little tongue for being willing to tag along. Cash-hungry executives, get ready to reap your twisted, nightmarish reward. For here comes…JUSTIN 3D-EBER IN THE 3D STORY OF HIS LIFE!!! IN 3D!!! In 3D theaters on 3D Valentine’s Day in 3D 2011. 3D.

UPDATE: Having regained his faculties, Davis Guggenheim has backed out of the project. I can’t put it better than The A.V. Club did, so I won’t even try. However, may I suggest Uwe Boll as Guggenheim’s successor?