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Gobbledygeek episode 404, “Monty Wezzo’s Flying Quarantine (feat. Wesley Mead),” is available for listening or download right here and on iTunes here.
Rule, Wezzo! Wezzo, rule the podcast! Gobbledygeek’s senior British correspondent, Wesley “Wezzo” Mead, returns after a truly mind-boggling 22-month gap to fill us in on how exactly the UK is falling apart. Boris Johnson is handling the COVID-19 pandemic very poorly, especially for someone who nearly died from the virus–but still not as poorly as Galactic Emperor Trump, with his Space Forces and super-duper missiles. You’ve heard all about how Paul and Arlo are coping with quarantine, but what’s Wezzo been watching? Well, do you remember the Olsen twins sitcom Two of a Kind and Amanda Bynes vehicle What I Like About You? No? That’s okay, Wezzo remembers them for you! Nostalgia plays a big role this episode, as we pine for our glory days from the discomfort of our hellish present; and specifically, those tactile yet intangible sense memories. Wow, deep! But it’s mostly What I Like About You.
Next: gonna cruise her round the town, show everybody what I’ve found, rock ‘n’ roll with all my friends, hopin’ the music never ends, these happy days are yours and mine, oh happy days.
Total Run Time: 01:53:55
- 00:00:33 – Intro? (Time has no meaning anymore…)
- 01:51:05 – Outro / Next
- “Blinded by the White” by Butch Walker, American Love Story (2020)
- “Sweet” by Porridge Radio, Every Bad (2020)
I like pirates. I enjoy inherently silly things. I’m an admirer of Aardman Animations, having greatly enjoyed Wallace & Gromit and Chicken Run. I guffawed at the trailer for The Pirates! Band of Misfits enough times that I ventured out to see a children’s movie on a Sunday afternoon all by my lonesome, then felt super awkward when dads started filing in with their kids. So it’s with some puzzlement that I report that Pirates! has few belly laughs, and perhaps worse, nothing that makes it particularly memorable.
For a film with a runtime of 88 minutes, the first half-hour feels like a laborious set-up for a plot that doesn’t really need to be set up. The Pirate Captain (voiced by Hugh Grant) doesn’t exactly inspire fear on the high seas, manning a crew that’s strictly amateur hour; each one has as descriptive a name as their captain, such as the Pirate with a Scarf (Martin Freeman), the Pirate with Gout (Brendan Gleeson), or my personal favorite, the Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate (Ashley Jensen), a play on that old trope whereby girl pirates disguise themselves as boy pirates. Despite his ineptitude, the Cap’n still has his sights set on winning the Pirate of the Year trophy.