Avengers Gotta Get with the Assembly: ‘The Avengers’ Trailer Now Online

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the first full trailer for The Avengers:

Okay…have you gathered yourself? Now then, let me remind you that this is not only the first trailer for The Avengers, but the trailer for the first filmed Joss Whedon work since that last run of Dollhouse episodes early last year. I guess it depends on what kind of geek you are, but that’s sort of what’s blowing my mind right now.

Though there’s plenty to blow your mind in the trailer itself. Being the first trailer for the hugest action/SFX movie of 2012, there’s not much in the way of plot or character, but we do get to see a lot of taxicabs getting blowed up real good, Captain America and Thor sparring, Bruce Banner Hulking out, and Loki looking pissed. There are also some fantastic, very Whedon-y lines of dialogue, delivered exclusively by Tony Stark. (I’m sure the other characters will have awesome things to say as well, but this is only a trailer, and Robert Downey Jr./Iron Man is pretty much the marquee name here.)

My favorite?

“Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled and I’m a huge fan of how you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.”

Oh, yes. I have a feeling that after this movie, it’s going to be hard to remember a world in which RDJ wasn’t always speaking Joss Whedon dialogue. If I’m going to disengage from drooling fanboy mode, I really only have a couple of quibbles: Scarlett’s sexy poses seem out-of-place, and Hawkeye locking and loading his bow looks kinda silly. Still, I’m penning in a big red “A” on my calendar for May 4, 2012.

No-Prize to the first person who can tell me the name of the Buffy episode from which I took this post’s title. Extra-Special No-Prize if you spot the other line of Buffy dialogue, which in its original form references Captain America, that I paraphrased here. Nerds assemble!

Lars von Trier Initiates World Annihilation with ‘Melancholia’ Trailer

The trailer for Lars von Trier’s next film, Melancholia, has been unveiled. Von Trier, the infamous Danish filmmaker whose movies cast a dim light on the future well-being of people’s genitals, finds himself dabbling in science fiction with Melancholia, about a wedding which coincides with the discovery of a hidden planet behind the sun. Von Trier has said the film will begin with the destruction of planet Earth, explaining, “In this way, you don’t have to sit and form theories about what will happen, but can delve down into some other levels and become interested in the pictures and the universe–that’s what I imagine.”

Here’s a peek at this latest missive from von Trier’s dark imagination (slightly NSFW for some brief nudity):

Kirsten Dunst, an underrated actress whose talents haven’t always matched the mainstream Hollywood fare she’s been shoehorned into, has excelled at quiet, resigned doom in the Sofia Coppola films Marie Antoinette and The Virgin Suicides, and looks to be bringing some of that same, er, “magic” to the bride in Melancholia. Because basically, when von Trier is casting a female lead, “Quiet, Resigned Doom” is probably the only box he’s looking to check. Just ask her co-star Charlotte Gainsbourg, who spent Antichrist‘s two hours grieving for her dead child and doing some nasty things to her naughty bits. Also glimpsed in the trailer are John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgård as Dunst’s groom, an awkward Charlotte Rampling, and Kiefer Sutherland, whose presence in a project like this surprises me after years of shooting kneecaps and taking names on 24.

The film is likely to premiere at Cannes next month, with an as-yet-unannounced U.S. release date.

Chris Evans Is Scrawny and Nazis Are Bad in ‘Captain America’ Trailer

There was a 30-second Captain America spot during the Superbowl last month, but that wasn’t much to go on besides a snippet of Stanley Tucci’s funny accent and a legitimately badass glimpse of the Red Skull. Now we’ve got a full, two-and-a-half-minute theatrical trailer on our hands, and it’s much juicier. Here, take a look:

Hit the jump for my thoughts.

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Fantastic New Trailer for David Fincher’s ‘The Social Network’

It’s been a slow week on the blog, and for that I apologize. To make it up to you, here’s the new trailer for David Fincher’s The Social Network, an Aaron Sorkin-penned film starring Jesse Eisenberg as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.

I admit to knowing next to nothing about Zuckerberg until recently, but what I learned was not exactly endearing. He is, to put it simply, a huge asshole. I’ve become less and less enamored with Facebook as time has passed; it went from being that cool thing all your friends were doing to that site where your aunt, your uncle, your second cousin twice removed, and all et cetera bug the living shit out of you. And I know I’m not the only one who feels that way, even if we might be in the minority.

Thus, it pleases me that The Social Network is shaping up to be so terrific. And dark. Oh, yes. As the genius tagline states, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies.” Jesse Eisenberg, who up ’til now has played nerdy hipsters in the Michael Cera vein (doing it well, too, in movies like Adventureland and Zombieland), looks to break free from typecasting as Zuckerberg, whom Fincher and Sorkin appear to be showing with warts and all. Then there’s Scala’s cover of Radiohead’s “Creep” perfectly scoring the whole thing. Fincher? Sorkin? A different shade of Eisenberg? I am so there. The Social Network is set to be released on October 1.

New ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’ Trailer

Are you ready to get chills?

“Why do you live?” “Because I have something to live for.”

Yeah, you got chills.

As I’ve said before, I’ve been lukewarm on the latter films in the series, but I thought Half-Blood Prince was a step in the right direction and I’m really hoping that David Yates can bring everything to a satisfying close. This trailer is certainly promising, with plenty of thrills, tears, and wonderful photography.

Man, I’m having to relive the end of Harry Potter all over again. I can’t believe it’s been nearly a decade since the first movie, and 13 years since the first book. Wow. The times, they are a-changin’…

‘Scott Pilgrim’ Watch: The International Trailer Debuts

I’m not a shill, I swear. Well, I mean, there was that enticing offer to rename the blog GobbledyScottPilgrimVsTheWorldInTheatersAugust13, but apart from that, I’m not a shill. However, that won’t stop me from bringing you news of the brand spanking new international trailer for the film, which, bless me, you can watch right here:

It’s a lot of what we saw in the North American trailer, but there are also plenty of new little bits and pieces that show just how off the rails and goofy this movie is going to be. The conversation about the cleaning lady at the end killed me (and is it just me, or has Brandon Routh been so much more likable in everything else than he was in Superman Returns?). So, stay tuned for more Scott Pilgrim, because I can guarantee you I won’t shut the fuck up about it until the 25th Anniversary Bread Makes You Fat?! Special Mega Deluxe Edition is released in 2035 on HPFEIYB (High-Pitched Frequency Emitted Into Your Brain).