Lars von Trier Initiates World Annihilation with ‘Melancholia’ Trailer

The trailer for Lars von Trier’s next film, Melancholia, has been unveiled. Von Trier, the infamous Danish filmmaker whose movies cast a dim light on the future well-being of people’s genitals, finds himself dabbling in science fiction with Melancholia, about a wedding which coincides with the discovery of a hidden planet behind the sun. Von Trier has said the film will begin with the destruction of planet Earth, explaining, “In this way, you don’t have to sit and form theories about what will happen, but can delve down into some other levels and become interested in the pictures and the universe–that’s what I imagine.”

Here’s a peek at this latest missive from von Trier’s dark imagination (slightly NSFW for some brief nudity):

Kirsten Dunst, an underrated actress whose talents haven’t always matched the mainstream Hollywood fare she’s been shoehorned into, has excelled at quiet, resigned doom in the Sofia Coppola films Marie Antoinette and The Virgin Suicides, and looks to be bringing some of that same, er, “magic” to the bride in Melancholia. Because basically, when von Trier is casting a female lead, “Quiet, Resigned Doom” is probably the only box he’s looking to check. Just ask her co-star Charlotte Gainsbourg, who spent Antichrist‘s two hours grieving for her dead child and doing some nasty things to her naughty bits. Also glimpsed in the trailer are John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgård as Dunst’s groom, an awkward Charlotte Rampling, and Kiefer Sutherland, whose presence in a project like this surprises me after years of shooting kneecaps and taking names on 24.

The film is likely to premiere at Cannes next month, with an as-yet-unannounced U.S. release date.

The Gobbledygeek Guide to the Fall/Winter Movie Season

Last night, Paul and I discussed a plethora of upcoming movies we found interesting in some way. Listen to the show to hear what we had to say, but as promised, here are the IMDb links and trailers for each film we mentioned:

September 1

The American

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New Bits of Footage: ‘The Avengers,’ ‘Lost’

Two tantalizing bits of footage leaked online today: the Avengers teaser shown at Comic-Con, and a clip of the forthcoming DVD epilogue of Lost.

Well, you can’t really call The Avengers bit “footage,” as it merely features Samuel L. Jackson’s commanding voice over a slowly revealed logo, but hey, it’s enough to get me excited. If only they’d added Joss Whedon’s name somewhere, I may have wet myself. Ahem. I currently can’t find an embeddable version, so click here to check it out at /Film.

The Lost clip, however, is much juicier. We open on the DHARMA Logistics Warehouse in Guam, focusing on two squabbling DHARMA employees. It’s hard to remember after the series’ cosmic conclusion, but the DHARMA Initiative is still a very important part of the Lost mythos, one that was never fully resolved. Soon enough, Ben shows up, claiming to be from the “home office,” with news that there’s a new man in charge (Hurley, of course), and that the warehouse is being shut down. Click here to watch it at Access Hollywood. I’m dying for more, and can’t wait. The Lost season 6 DVD set, featuring the full epilogue, will be released on August 24.

Meet the New Face of Terror in the ‘Yogi Bear’ Trailer

First thing’s first: Dan Aykroyd will always have a place in my heart for his work on Saturday Night LiveThe Blues Brothers, and Ghostbusters. But what a remarkably horrific career he’s had since those halcyon days. When he hasn’t appeared in films such as Dragnet or I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, or pimped his past successes with Ghostbusters II (a sentimental guilty pleasure) or Blues Brothers 2000 (much, much worse), he’s had forgettable bit roles in several good movies. I didn’t watch Chaplin too terribly long ago, but I have no recollection of his appearance. You could make a case for Driving Miss Daisy or Grosse Point Blank, but me, I’m no fan of those films.

Now, though, Aykroyd has hit the bottom of the barrel, maybe even the bottom of the bottom of the barrel. If you are so inclined, watch this trailer for the forthcoming live-action adaptation of the classic Yogi Bear cartoons…

The desperate “PLEASE WATCH THIS PLEASE GOD WATCH THIS” preface sets you up for the horror to come. Then you see Anna Faris, and the horror inches closer. “I heard you had an unusual brown bear,” she says to Ranger Smith (Tom Cavanagh, whom Paul assures me has done good things). “A brown bear?” he responds, clearly color blind. She jogs his memory: “One that talks? Those are so rare!” We then see fuzzy feet from the rooftop, attempting to fish out Ranger Smith’s lunch pail. It backfires. This monster goes flying. He bounces back up, green porkpie hat still on his head. “I’m okay!” he calls, in Dan Aykroyd’s voice. This is the computer-generated Yogi Bear. To be sure, he is no Gooby, unlikely to provide children with nightmare fuel for a thousand years. But he is just as cute and cuddly as the CGI Scooby-Doo, which is not at all. Perhaps worst of all is just how awful Aykroyd is at imitating original voice actor Daws Butler. As he and Boo Boo (Justin Timberlake, again proving to be an oasis in the desert) steal pic-a-nic baskets, water ski, hang glide, and jump onto moving trains, Aykroyd yells in an impossibly dumb baritone, with absolutely no sense of timing or pitch or comedy.

The trailer admonishes you to, “Go wild, go Yogi,” but, surprisingly, I feel like doing neither of those things after viewing it. With the terrible CGI, the terrible acting, and the terribly stupid human scenes (which amazingly look even stupider than those with the cartoon bears), I can only imagine this will be a terrible film. If you are not yet quite sure, let me ask you this: Does a bear shit in the woods?

(Yes, and he shits prints of this film into your local multiplex on December 13. In 3D.)